10 Days and Counting...

While I'd like to think that I'm wildly independent and more than capable to be away from friends and family for extended periods of time. I have finally reached the point where I am more than excited to go home for Winter Break! In 10 days I will gladly bundle up and board a plane back to the frozen Midwest for a two week break from the craziness known as my life. I'm ready to have margaritas with Mother (the house better be stocked when I get home) and sit on the kitchen counter talking to Dad about anything and everything, or just the same stories we laugh at time and time again. And of course, I am eager to spend some much needed time with the best friend in one of my favorite cities! While I'm not a fan of the cold in any way, shape, or form, I will try to soak in every moment while I'm in Minnesota cause I'm not sure the next time I will be back. The semester has been incredible and I have learned a lot, but for my sanity, I need to get away from this hotel. So Minnesota, get ready, cause I'm coming home!

Life in a Hotel

My current place of residence: a hotel. No, I'm not a person a part of the corporate world traveling around living out of a suitcase or a musician living life on the road. I'm a Residence Director of a Panhellenic Hall at ASU which just happens to be a former Sleep Inn. Need proof?

Home Sweet APH

Does that work for you? Or how about the time expedia sent someone to my residence hall for their hotel reservation. "Ma'am, I am sorry but if you can't tell by the hundreds of college-aged girls running around and screaming, you do not have a room booked here for the night!"

And if you can imagine life in a hotel living with nearly 250 Greek women, there is never a dull moment. These ladies never slow down and always keep me on my toes. And if the women aren't enough, the building has a mind of its own as well. You never can tell what direction the elevators are heading. There is a industrial size kitchen on the main floor that looks like it is straight from a scene of The Shinning. And my boss and I just recently found out that the pool area has a retractable roof. With  everything else this building has, a built in sun roof is not surprising.

But with all the quirks and unnatural amount of estrogen, I really love the APH. I have learned a lot about Greek Life and how to work with such a specific and unique population. And I am blessed to have an incredible staff with women who make me want to become a better person and RD each day. So did I ever guess that I'd ever live in a hotel? No...but I'm so thankful I am! Proud to live in the Appalachian Power House!

Stuck on Re-play

Just wanted to share some of my new favorite music. Fun Fact: This guy was a student here at App and of course before I really knew who he was or liked his music, he paid App a visit and I missed him. Nevertheless, his music has been stuck in my head for days!

So check him out!

Retreat ASB Style

This semester I am doing a practicum (similar to an internship) with ASU's Alternative Spring Break program. I really enjoyed going on a trip last Spring and wanted to learn more about how the program was run, especially the trips that go internationally. This past weekend all of the Peer Leaders for all the Fall 2011 and Spring 2012 trips and the ASB Leadership Team went on a retreat to Elk Shoals Camp just outside of Boone. The retreat started out as any retreat should - a roadtrip with 5 girls singing N'Sync, Cee Lo and Shania Twain at the top of our lungs. We may or may not have known every word to all the N'Sync songs. The rumor going into the retreat was that we had to sleep outside for one night. That partnered with the rumor that the Boone area was going to receive its first snow left many of us wondering what we got ourselves into. We pull into the camp and upon arrival we met with one of the workers of the camp. She informed us that we were staying in Adirondacks and that our next step was to carry our mattresses up the hills to the cabin. Now picture this if you will, 50 plus people carrying mattresses on their heads or any other way feasible up the mountain into the woods to the adventure that awaits. This, my friends, was our humble home for the night. I, being a bit dramatic, text my friends saying they may not hear from me again because I might freeze to death or get eaten by a bear.

Our Adirondack

At first we thought it wasn't going to be that bad. It had three walls and it seemed to block the wind. However, the wind decided to come from all directions bringing in rain/snow and the 30 degree temps into the cabin. PJ's for the night required two pairs of socks, leggings, sweat pants, a tank top, a sweat shirt with the hood pulled up over my head, and a scarf all while trying to keep any skin from being exposed to the cold. The next day we went over to Elk Knob to plant some trees to help our trips be Carbon Neutral. Oh yeah - in the snow! Because of the elevation there was at least an inch of snow on the ground. Not okay! At least not on October 1st. The cold and the weather could have been a major complaining point for the students, but I think we all realized just how ridiculous it all was and decided to find it comical instead.

Sometimes it's really hard to give up a weekend to go on retreats, and I would be lying if I didn't think on the outset of this weekend that there were a million different things I would rather be doing. However, it was an incredible weekend. I loved getting to meet new students who aren't within Housing. And all of them - way cool! My friend Jess and I often commented during the weekend that we only wished we could be half as cool as all of them. It's so great to see students with a passion and desire to give back and make a difference. For many reason, this will be a retreat I look back on fondly. Thankful to be apart of ASB here at ASU!

I Heart Gameday!

It is finally tailgate season as ASU just had their first home football game of the 2011 season. (We won - woot woot!) Next to Summer and March Madness, tailgate season is my favorite season. 

Since my undergrad did not have tailgating, I still get overwhelmingly excited about hanging out in the middle of Raley parking lot with the other grad students from my program, playing Corn Hole (bean bags to those of us from the Midwest), listening to either "Dirt Road Anthem" or "Black and Yellow" on repeat, chowing down on burgers and hot dogs and ending the day with some great Mountaineer football! 

Plus, how can you not love game day when you get beautiful fall days and a stadium that has a view of the Blue Ridge Moutains in the background! 

So for most of the remaining Saturdays this fall you will find me in the "back of a jacked up tailgate" loving life and cheering on App State!

What Comes Next

It's hard to think that even though it feels like I just got to App State and started my graduate program, that in reality it will soon be over. In just a few months, I will be starting the job search process and applying for positions all over the US looking for the next great fit! Not gonna lie, it's a little intimating. Within this graduate program I have always felt that I have been planning life six months in advance and I haven't ever really had the opportunity to be present where I am. But I guess that's the nature of this beast we call graduate school. So, in attempts to be proactive and figure out the next step in life, I have started contacting a school in Scotland that I visited in April to see if there is any possibility that I can set up a short term internship with them after I graduate. The goal: The University of St. Andrews. There is no doubt that out of all the Universities we visited while abroad, St. Andrews made the largest impact and the best impression. The feeling I had while at that school was similar to what I have felt at ASU - it felt like home. It wasn't hard for me to picture myself living and thriving there. Due to that feeling, I have taken the leap of faith in pursuing an internship opportunity there. Fingers crossed! I know that this is the time for me to take risks like this. Once I start my full time job, these international experiences won't be as available and I don't want to look back and regret not taking this chance. However, I do have hesitations. There are factors - things and people - which cause me to reconsider if this is something I really want to do. I get caught up in asking a lot of "what if's" which I know I should not do. I have often struggled with making decisions only based on what it means for me. But with this, I need to take a deep breath and give it a try. To be completely cliche' if it's meant to be it will all work out. Guess now, I just get to wait and see what comes next!

RD on Duty, this is Jacki!

For those of you unfamiliar with the role and responsibilities of a Residence Director, let me introduce you to the act of being on duty. Here at ASU, Residence Directors get the lovely opportunity to carry around this lovely black flip phone for a week at a time. Anytime a major incident occurs, Resident Assistants will contact the RD on Duty on this cellular device and you get to be the person in charge to assist in the situation. There are all sorts of different incidents you could be responding to. To use some wisdom from Forrest Gump - it's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. Now for most new RDs, being on duty is very stressful and anxiety producing. Sometime it feels that as soon as you get the duty phone in your hands, that annoying ring that always gets stuck in your head and also the one that can give you a heart attack will go off at any moment. But most likely you'll hear the lovely ring tone around 2 o'clock in the morning. 

Since such responsibility is given to us when we are acting as the RD on Duty, there is of course, rules that must be obeyed. First we are not allowed to be more than 15 minutes away from campus. Also, we are not allowed to consume alcohol. Another is that from 5pm on Friday night until 8am Monday morning, the phone must be turned on and with you at all times. At the end of a duty week comes a certain sense of freedom and there is nothing I enjoy more than handing that devilish phone off to the next lucky RD on Duty. So you may guess that this role is a thorn in my side or the bane of my existence. However, let me set the record straight...I secretly love being on duty! Now, sometimes there are those call with really difficult situations that you'd rather not have to deal with. But most of the time, the situations you deal with are often peculiar and entertaining. And anytime ASU Police is involved, you can be sure it will be a good time. I happen to be on duty tonight and I have spent most my night shooting the breeze with some of the cops while finding a half gallon bottle of cheap liquor in a resident's room as well as roaming through the halls of my old hotel trying to find the breakers that will turn the lights back on in certain parts of my building. Sure I may be up most nights until 2am in the morning, but it's always an adventure! So now, instead of loathing the role of being the RD on Duty, I have been finding a new sense of excitement by being on duty and often catch myself humming and dancing to the ring tone!

So if you're ever in a bind, you know who to call. The RD on Duty is on your side!

My wants list

My lovely ladies here at the APH always have some of the most interesting and entertaining conversations. I usually just sit in the background and giggle about how goofy and wonderful they all are. A recent convo they had while hanging out in the hall office was their non-negotiable qualities when it comes to guys and dating. (Yes, some stereotypes we reinforce willingly. We really do make lists of what we want our guys to be like.) As always, they want me to join in the process, but for this conversation I politely declined due to employer - employee boundaries, even though the real reason was that I wasn't sure what my non-negotiable qualities were.

But that conversation stuck with me, as most do. It got me to think about a few of the things I want out of relationships. So I made my own list. And by no means do these items only pertain to a dating relationship, but these are things I want present with any form of relationship I develop. So here goes.

I want to be a risk taker and someone to take a risk on

I want to surround myself with people who want to see me become a better person no matter what trials arise and know that they'll stand by me through it all

I want to be able to say out loud what I think and what I feel without the fear that I'm saying or feeling too much 

I want to know that the people I back up, defend, support, encourage and cheer for won’t hesitate to do the same for me

I want my ability to love unconditionally be the thing that people love the most about me

So there ya have it. My "I want's" list. Nothing too extensive. The most encouraging part about these things that I want is knowing that in some relationships I have these things. The people I have this type of relationship with are the people that are nearest and dearest to my heart. I am continually thankful for their unconditional love and for being such a blessing to me! 

So maybe it is okay to make lists of non-negotiable qualities you want in relationships. I think many of us get scared of knowing what we want and being okay with holding tightly to those things. However, if those things make you a better person, I think they are worth having!

Blogging Hiatus

Realized it had been a while since I had last written. SLACKER! Please note that the hiatus is not a direct reflection of my life and should not be understood as a lack of activity, new adventures, thoughts, or random nothings. I've just been lazy and uninspired. Nothing more. Nothing less. However, it is my hope that in the near future to inform my 5 readers of my life's happenings since the beginning of July. It is sure to be riveting!

To appease your unknown desire to enter into my thought process, I will share one new personal discovery that just occurred yesterday. It is a new pet peeve. Whenever the question is asked "What is one of your pet peeves?",  I know I have multiple answers, but they all seem so general and overused. This one, I believe, is brand new. However, I feel that once I reveal said pet peeve, others will agree with such an annoyance! So here it is. What has now be proven to make my blood boil is when people, especially people in positions above me, send me an e-mail with "..." all over to replace or express emotion. The emotion is usually frustration and the sender is trying to be snarky. But to me it seen as bad form and really unprofessional. I'm sorry, if you are trying to get your point across and help me understand something, please do not lose all sense of proper sentence structure and punctuation by putting "..." after every 5 words. It's called a period. Pretty common things. USE THEM!

5 readers should also note that I triple checked this blog to make sure no "..." were used unintentionally. Welcome back to my life readers! Talk to you soon.

The song in my head...

"So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight."

Sing it Lady A!

Gotta Have Faith

I have a lot of questions. I just do. It's kind of how I tick. I am an internal processor and I am constantly working things out in my mind.  By the time I get the answer to one question, I have already thought of two more. It's a never ending cycle really. As of late, I have been having a lot of questions about my faith. Now for those of you who just read the last sentence and are suddenly fearful for my soul...cool it. This is the whole reason I left MN and Youthworks was to get out of the Christian bubble I have lived in for 8 years and to really see how my faith played out in my life. Faith in that setting for me was automatic and at times robotic. So taking a step away from that has given me a chance to see how my faith would flourish or flounder.

The transition away from that bubble...has been interesting. I feel as though I am still in the process of weaning myself off my previous environment and starting to see how I can live out my faith apart from it. Or that I am stuck in some middle vector of some psychosocial development theory of faith. I'm stripping away what I knew before, reexamining things and really trying to figure out who I am as a believer and how I want to identify as one.

I feel like within what we call "Christianity" there is such a broad range and spectrum of faith. Faiths are acted out in such various and sometimes polar ways. On one end you can have the Bible thumping, legalistic, my way or the highway, do it wrong and you will and should be damned sort of belief. And at the other end you can have the faith of a child who asks you to pray for Justin Bieber at nighttime prayer and doesn't bat an eye at it.

With such varying degrees, it leaves me with yet another question: where do I fit in?

Looking Back...

Yesterday was the last day of Freshmen Orientation for the class of 2015 here at ASU. Since I had been working with Orientation all summer, I finally decided to go to their opening session just to see what it was all about. It was while I was sitting in the back dismissing the sign that says "No food or drink in the auditorium" and eating some Bojangles and listening to the Dean of Student Development and the Director of Student Conduct talk about discovering who you are and making college the best it can be, these thoughts of my college orientation all came flooding back to me. I could tell that there was this energy in the air as students were eagerly anticipating their next chapter in life: college. The thoughts of who they would become, the people they would meet, the classes they would take, I'm certain were frequent among many students. However, I'm certain the thoughts of what type of fun can I have, or what kind of trouble can I get away with, may have been more common than the previous inquiries. But being so far removed from that time in my life, it caused me to take a step back, reflect on what it was like for me and attempt to place myself back into their shoes.

When I went to orientation prior to my Freshmen year, it was the first time I actually saw the college I was going to be attending in just a few short weeks after. The first person I met was my crazy advisor who ended up being my professor for multiple courses I took throughout my career. Since I had enrolled in a private Christian college, he immediately took to quizzing me on the number of books in the Bible and asking all of these ridiculous questions which really caused me to doubt all I had learned during my VBS years. (If you're curious it's 66 total books.) I think that encounter left me so traumatized that the only things I remember after that point was awkwardly talking to some other students at lunch and finally figuring out just how much this private school was going to cost...thus doing the math, figuring out how much in loans I would be paying back... for the rest of my life!

While I really don't remember the details, I remember that eager anticipation of being on the brink of a new chapter in life. The unknown was exciting and scary as hell at the same time. But soon I was moving to a new place, onto a new adventure and had every opportunity to redefine who I was. I can only imagine that this auditorium full of future ASU students were now experiencing a similar feeling that I did back then.

Now looking back on my college years, I want to encourage all those students, and everyone else for that matter with this little nugget of wisdom: Don't just wait until the start of a new chapter in your life to redefine yourself or make it better than what it was before. Go after it with everything you have everyday you are given! In all areas of your life take chances, learn from your mistakes, and have some fun along the way!

Best of luck class of 2015! Go Mountaineers!

Ramblings of an Insomniac

I am horrible at sleeping. Really. Truly horrible. It doesn't make my top five talents list. Or even the top twenty talents list for that matter. And it's not just at night when I can't sleep, it's anytime, anywhere. I'm the person who stares at the people sleeping on planes because I'm so jealous they are gifted enough to fall asleep. I attempt to produce sleep by taking sleep aids. Except while other normal people would experience the benefits of such elixirs and fall into a deep slumber, I on the other hand, lay awake feeling as though my body has been hit by a Mack truck and looking like a hot mess, a drugged hot mess! Not cool.

In all honesty, I guess I am what you would call a "night person". But this goes beyond my preference for time of day. This is an issue. Night after night I find myself laying in bed, exhausted but unable to sleep. It could be related to the fact that my brain never shuts down and my mind is constantly bombarded with ceaseless thoughts! I'm just constantly thinking, thinking, thinking. Sometimes about the most peculiar things!

However, during my moments of insomnia is when I usually come up with my best ideas for papers, presentations, and speeches. It also seems to be the time when I remember more items that need to be added to my To-Do list. And if I put my inability to sleep to use, I can actually get a lot done during the wee morning hours. Which is now probably why I sleep with my computer in bed each night. Pathetic party of one!

But until I some how develop a sudden talent for sleeping, I guess it's back to the traditional methods of curing my insomnia. Bring on the sheep.

Sweet Dreams!

I'll be seeing you...

I didn't want this time to come. I have actually been dreading it for quite some time now. But it's that time when I have to say goodbye to some of the most amazing people I know: The Carruth family. (Insert MAJOR sad face)

For those of you who don't know Andrew and Leigh, you're missing out! Andrew just graduated from the College Student Development program here at ASU and he and his wife Leigh and their little daughter Rorey adopted me into their family this year. From the very beginning of my graduate career, they would invite me up to their cabin for dinner or to watch endless episodes of The Big Bang Theory. Whenever I needed them and even in the times when I didn't think I needed them, they were always there. They hardly knew me but still showed me love and kindness I am not deserving of. As the year continued, they have stood by me through every situation - good or bad. They provided me with a shoulder to cry on, at times a bed to sleep on and the encouragement I needed to get through this past year. I never could have survived with out them!

Now they are off on their next adventure and chapter of life. And I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad to see them go. I'm not usually the type of person who really misses people, but one thing I know for sure is that I will miss Andrew and Leigh dearly!

Andrew and Leigh, I write this to you cause I know you'll read it. THANK YOU! For absolutely everything! I wish there was something I could do to show you just how much you mean to me and how thankful I am for your friendship. You two are so incredible and I am a better person for knowing you both. I'll be expecting to get a phone call from you the day Peanut starts talking. And you better believe that I am going to come visit every chance I get!

So this isn't goodbye cause I refuse to say goodbye to you...plus we'll have our family reunions to look forward to each year. So for now, I'll just say "I'll be seeing you..."

Love you both so much!

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget."

Concert Time!

For being the music lover I am, I hardly go to any shows. I think the most recent show I went to was hearing John Mayer in downtown Chicago on the 4th of July back in 2007.  Yikes! Major band geek fail. BUT...I am ending such an era in my life by going to Asheville, NC see Mumford and Sons in concert this week!

I'm so excited to see them live! Finally getting away from the mountain for a few hours is going to be pretty great too. And hopefully in just a couple weeks I'll head back to Asheville to see Adele. Bring on the music!

Girl with Gumption

There are those times in life when one realizes that there are certain things about them that need to be improved. Certain strengths or skills that need a little refining. Bad habits that need to be broken. Teeth need whitening, tummy needs tightening, muscles need toning. Let's face it...we all could use a little work.

Lately, by way of sudden change and conversations with friends, I have come to realize that an area I need some improvement on is my level of gumption (which is currently nonexistent...or so I am told).What is gumption you say? If you consulted Webster you would learn that the word means: enterprise; initiative - plus a smattering of other terms that have no significance to this blog-post so I will withhold them for the time being. Some may also call it courage. In my everyday language, what it means is that I need to develop a spine. Plain and simple. 

I think if you had asked me prior to these enlightening conversations, I would have claimed to be a woman of great gumption! Someone who could speak her mind. Stand up for myself! And never would I allow myself to get pushed around, walked on, or be treated in any other way than what I deserve... But for those of you who know me, you're rolling your eyes and saying "nice try, Jacki." Truth is I can be that person in my car or in my apartment by myself, and definitely within my thought process, but never out loud. I would like to place most of the blame on the whole "Minnesota Nice" theory that I was raised in and clearly live out now even though I have been away from MN for nearly a year. Whatever the case may be, this is the current area of my life that needs some tweaking. Now just to figure out how to go about doing that. As for now, I take my inspiration from a scene from one of my favorite flicks The Holiday!

Sigh...

Someday, that day could be quite a long ways off if we are being serious, but someday I will be able to be that bold, be able to stand up for myself and be that courageous. Someday...you will know me as the girl with gumption! Better get to work!

Start of Something New

The world is always in movement.

- V. S. Naipaul 

Something about being in Boone makes the above statement even more true. I feel like ever since I have arrived in Boone my life has always been stuck in this constant fluidity of change.  Learning a new job. Meeting new people. Adjusting to this hippie culture. Trying to figure what it exactly means to be a Mountaineer. And now, even though it's technically "summer" here at App State, I feel that I have been experiencing more changes now than ever before. While some of these changes are great and better than what I expected. Some take time to adjust to and I'm not always so thrilled about them when I first become aware of them. Some make me smile and maybe even blush a little! ;) Yet, others have brought me to tears and left me completely confused and frustrated. But no matter what, whether I am happy about the change or not, I strive to see the good. I have to look for the thing that keeps me going and the ways that I could possibly become a better person because of this new adventure in my life. No matter what I do to stop the curve balls from coming, they always seem to show up when I least expect. Might as well make the best out of it and enjoy the ride!

Grad School: Year One

To Do List

Write 4 Reflection Papers

Finish Transition Report

Complete First Yr of Grad School

Laundry

Well folks, completing my first year of graduate school has been crossed off the To-Do list. I am now a 2nd year! And I have no idea where that first year went. It has been nothing short of a whirl wind year, but it has meet and exceeded so many expectations. I don't even know if there is a possible way to fully describe this first year of grad school to you. I feel that I could bombard you with adjectives such as amazing, wonderful, challenging, fantastic, exciting, thrilling, empowering, stressful, exhausting, exhilarating, refreshing, etc. But I'm not sure words such as those would do this year justice. 

I think I can look back on this first year as a success due to many contributing factors. But the most important one is family. Family had a HUGE part to play in this adventure. First off, my parents and siblings have been so supportive of this journey I am on. I can always count on them even though I am over 20 hours away from home. This year I was fortunate to have a staff that have blessed me in ways I am not deserving of and I am so thankful to call them my family. I love you guys!! I was also blessed by being adopted into the Carruth family here in Boone. Andrew just graduated from my program, and He and his AMAZING wife Leigh and their daughter welcomed me into their lives and home. I could not have made it through this year without them. On top of all that, I have my CSD family, my housing family, and the ASU family in general. I work alongside some incredible people. I have met and interacted with some of the most amazing students. Students who inspire me, challenge me, and support me and  I could only hope to be as cool as they are one day!

All of the experiences I have had throughout this past year, both good and bad, have been tremendous growth opportunities and I wouldn't trade them for the world. And the great part about it all, I still have another year left! I want to offer my congratulations to all the 2nd years who graduated this weekend! I am so proud of all of you! Thank you for being such great mentors and showing us the way!

Now it's time to bring in the new first years and show them what App is all about!

Across the Pond

Where we love is home, 

Home that our feet may leave but not our hearts.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

A couple weeks ago, 14 of my cohort members, my three professors and I traveled over to the UK to examine Universities and what they do for student support services. Going back over the pond was like going home. Something about that place allows me to breathe deeply and something that was lost within my soul was revived. We started out in Edinburgh, Scotland. Got to tour the city a lot and spend a lot of time outdoors. Some of my favorite memories from that city was discovering that we could climb to the top of the Scot Monument and got a great view of the city.

We also went on our first hike with Daisy and of course, in true American form, had a dance party when we reached the top. But it was a great view, and it was great to get some fresh air!

The first University we visited was University of Glasgow. Amazing school with beautiful architecture. I think I found what really draws me in to schools: architecture. Hook. Line. And sinker!

We then went to Aberdeen. Some of the ladies and I took a walk out to the North Sea. It's at times like that when you have to pinch yourself and verbally remind yourself that you are in Scotland. The University of Aberdeen was a great school. Didn't have the medieval architecture that was seen at Glasgow, but something about the community was so welcoming. Note that our time in Aberdeen was the only time it rained while we were abroad. 

From Aberdeen we traveled to the place I most hope to return: St. Andrews. I fell in love with the town, the school, the tradition and all the history. What I felt when I was at St. Andrew's was similar to what I felt when I came to ASU. Even though I had only been there for a short time, it immediately felt like home. The University had the closest thing to what resembles a Residence Life system here in the states. My hope is to go back to St. Andrew's for a couple months after graduating. Fingers crossed!

From there we traveled through the beautiful countryside of Scotland to Chester, England. That city has some AMAZING history and of course the day we got to tour the city, I wasn't feeling well. We had a "Hen Party" for cohort member Emily the night prior and had a pretty great time. While visiting the school, our host exclaimed they had a very extensive history as they were established in 1849. I laughed. The schools we had visited previously started back in the 1400's. By just visiting three ancient schools, we became such snobs. "Extensive history? Yeah right! Talk to us when your school's history is nearly 600 years old."

After Chester we went to Brecon, Wales. When people ask me about my favorite part of the trip, the first thing I think of is Brecon. We got to go on an incredible hike with Daisy one day and I saw views that words can't even begin to describe. The beauty was something that put me in awe. The peaks we climbed were Pen Y Fan and Corn Du. We hiked while sheep grazed among us. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. After the hike, we all went to a local pub to watch a football game of Manchester United vs Manchester City. YAY MANCHESTER CITY!

From Brecon to Cardiff. I really liked Cardiff. For some reason it reminded me of Minneapolis, except Minneapolis doesn't have a castle in the middle of it. 

Story time. So we arrived in Cardiff on a Sunday morning. Our professors wanted to give us some time to see the city so we got there early. Did some shopping in the early afternoon, then walked back to our hotel to get checked in. We then decided to walk to the Castle which was just through the city center. The castle cost 11 pounds so we decided not to check it out. From there we walked to the National Museum after getting lost for a short bit. Didn't last in the museum very long because it was just the day before that we did the long hike in Brecon, so my feet were killing me and I was in flats. Well my professors Daisy and Cathy met up with us at the museum and since it was such a beautiful day out we decided to go to the Cathedral for evening song. So we started walking. At first it was so peaceful strolling through the parks and seeing people enjoy the weather. And we kept walking and passed a cricket stadium and through some random neighborhoods. Well 15 minutes into the walk, my feet are giving me the middle finger and I'm shuffling around like an old lady. I see the group, that is now way a head of me, stop by a building which looked like a cathedral. I finally make it there and see a sign. Homeless shelter. I laugh. Why? To keep from crying! We figure out that the cathedral is about another 15 minutes in the same direction. We push on. Walked through another park and got to see a cricket game. And then finally we see the cathedral in the distance. This one looked legit. Great architecture, grave yard, good history, the whole nine yards. Get to the front. It was closed. Go figure. To top it off, we got a bus ride back to the city center and we got there in 3 minutes. Hilarious!

We also visited the University of Cardiff which was a nice university. This school also was founded in the 1800's. From Cardiff we were off to LONDON! Hooray! There is something about that city that makes me feel so alive. And to me it's interesting that a small town like St. Andrew's and a huge city like London can feel so much like home. We got to do a lot of touring of the city. The weather was fantastic so our day in the city was a 16 hour day. I got to see Abbey Road, go on the London Eye, we went to the Tower of London and hung out by Peter Pan in Kensington Park. It was awesome!

The last school we went to was Cambridge University. That school was so intimidating! To think of how many brilliant people have attended the colleges there and the things they have accomplished and the rich history of the school just blows me away. We also got to punt the cam which was a great way to end the trip! Before you know it, I was getting packed up and headed back to the states.

My time abroad was so refreshing and it really confirmed that I need to be working in International Programs. Someday! I am so thankful that I was given this opportunity and that I have this experience a part of my graduate career. If you would like to hear more, don't hesitate to ask!

Cheers!

Alive and Well in the UK!

Just wanted to give a quick update from the UK! The trip is going so well!! We have been so blessed by great weather and the group is getting along very well. We have visited 3 universities. First stop was the University of Glasgow. Beautiful campus! Then it was on to the University of Aberdeen. Really enjoyed that school as they were so welcoming!! Next visit and favorite so far was going to the University of St. Andrew. Fell in love with the school and city! They have such great tradition there and it's something I would love to be a part of!! Maybe one day :). Tomorrow we are going to the University of Chester. Did you know Chester dates back to 79 A.D.?? Crazy!!

So in all really loving this trip! So glad this is a part of my graduate school experience. More updates to come upon return to the states. Cheers!!

JORGEN

Since I will be out of the country when the BFF turns 26 (april.13), I wanted to give a little shout out to my best friend, Miss Jorgen Knutson! When I first met this girl she was wearing "Farm Girl" t-shirts and cargo pants. Now miss thang is fashionista extraordinaire! And she is quite possibly the sassiest girl I have ever met.

Diva.

Jorgen, know that I am so thankful for you and your friendship. You mean the world to me and have blessed me in so many ways. I am a better person because of you. Thank you for keeping my life so entertaining. Plus, it isn't bad having a best friend who owns nearly 50 pairs of shoes - that comes in handy a lot! :) I will be thinking of you when I'm gallivanting around England. Don't worry, I will try to bring you home something fabulous! 

So, here it is, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JORGEN!! Love you lots!!

Love.Love.Love

UK BOUND

Just two more days until it is time to get on a plane and head across the pond! Don't really have much else to say about it. Writing this really just to rub it in that I am leaving the country...finally!! (It's been 5 years) Readers, you may or may not find it interesting that I will be in London just days before the Royal Wedding. You're jealous, I know. I'll do my best to document the occasion for your viewing pleasure upon my return to the states. With that, I best be on my way to getting my to-do list taken care of. I will touch base with you all in a couple weeks. Until then,

Cheers!

Much Needed Space

These past few days I have been in Baltimore for the American College Personnel Association (ACPA) conference. While I now find myself at home and exhausted, there are many things that I walk away with greatly appreciating from my time spent in Baltimore. I think what I most appreciate was the space that was created for many influential things to take place. Things that may have never taken place, had I not been in Baltimore for this period of time.

I am most thankful for the space and opportunity to enter into what I hope to be a great friendship with my cohort member Courtney. Up until this time, I had only really gotten to know Courtney through the context of our classroom. But now after 5 days spent in Baltimore, venting to each other about the outrageous amount of money we spent on a very disappointing hotel, studying for finals, processing the sessions we attending, creating documentaries on the ACPA experience, tequila shots, and an abundance of laughs, I consider her to not only be an absolutely incredible human being, but someone I intend to have a life long friendship with.

Sticking with the friendship theme, I am very thankful for the space provided for me to get to know some other cohort members in a better way and to really appreciate their personalities and who they are as people. Additionally, I am so thankful for some much needed space to work on redeeming friendships that had gone way off track and nearly derailed. While still a work in progress, the difference in our friendship from Friday to Wednesday is very recognizable.

Going to ACPA also provided me the space to:  think, to discuss, to vent, to dream, to plan, to improve, to believe.  All in a way that I hadn't yet before. I feel as though the conversations I had, the sessions I sat in on, the ideas that were created have given me enough things to reflect on to last me to the end of the semester. This conference only solidified my recently determined passion within the field of Student Affairs. I also feel that this conference instilled in me a confidence in my ability to hold my ground in this profession that I apparently had been lacking before. It is because of the space so adequately provided that I am thankful for everything that took place these past few days. However...

The only space that was not created from this trip involves my waistline and the now clear lack of space. I guess 5 days of eating out for every meal catches up with one quickly. Must find a way to immediately recreate that space!

White Leather, Red Laces

It's nearly baseball season and there is no where I would rather be than here....

Twins Territory

But of course, I am in Boone, North Carolina. I didn't really become obsessed with baseball until college. It must have been the 1/2 price general admission and the dollar dogs that got me. But it is seriously one of my favorite sports. Maybe because it shouts loud and clear "SUMMER". It could also be the sound of a packed stadium on a afternoon game, it's flat beer that only tastes good when sitting in a ball stadium, it's being able to people watch the entire game and never miss a thing. It is also becoming friends with the people sitting next to you...even if only for 9 innings! And if you're lucky - a few extra! It definitely is the 7th inning stretch and the kiss cam. Or possibly that one time you and your friends got the last few tickets for the home opener sitting in obstructed view seating and you started the slow clap!

Gosh...I LOVE THIS SPORT! Thankfully, just through the mountains about 40 miles is Elizabethtown where the Twins have their farm team. PTL! You better believe I am going to catch a game or two. But for now, I daydream about being with friends on a warm evening enjoying America's past-time. Thank goodness it is Baseball season!

Service: Redefined

If I were to reflect on the things that are important to me and the things I want to be about, I would typically believe that the term service would show up on multiple different occasions. My go-to leadership model is through servant leadership. I worked for a non-profit organization that developed service trips all across the United States that nearly 40,000 people attended each year. I participate in several different service opportunities each year. Service this. Service that. Service. Service. Service. This is something I think people should get involved in and make a priority in their lives.

However, this term service has been causing some sort of internal dilemma within me lately. I just got back from an Alternative Spring Break trip that gave students here at ASU an opportunity to get outside of their comfort zone of Boone and be a part of the ongoing work taking place in gulf cities such as Pascagoula, Mississippi. While the students worked hard all week with the various tasks given them, I felt that there was this lingering question about the level of service work they were doing. I think sometimes we think that we have to be working with children and having a lot of human interaction to gratify our needs for doing service and to quantify what has been done as such. On top of the recent ASB trip, I also attended a workshop on Globalizing Service Learning that discussed what service learning should and shouldn't be.

It is from that workshop and my previous trip that I am developing this skewed view of the word service. I feel that service has become this sort of self proclaiming- pat myself on the back- add it to the resume- look at how good I am - sort of thing people seek just to make them feel better about themselves. I think a lot of people have lost the real meaning and purpose of service as they enter into service opportunities with this appalling god complex. It's like I can hear them walk into those situations proclaiming "HERE I AM TO SAVE THE DAYYYYY!!!!" And that....DISGUSTS ME! If that is what people believe service is and how it should be approached, I want nothing to do with their kind of service.

Another contributing factor to this sudden dissonance in my comprehension of service came from an upcoming program to be held in my building. With the recent disaster taking place in Japan, my staff and I decided to host a fundraiser to help out a local organization Samaritan's Purse. However, it isn't just a "come bring down your pennies to help out a global cause", it is "we will feed you if you can please just spare a penny or two!" Now, I understand that I am catering to an audience of college students and if food is available at any function, they will magically appear. It's like in Field of Dreams when they say "If you build it, he will come" except it's more like "If you feed them, they will come." I digress. My sudden objection to this is that I feel like through these types of programming I am only enabling people to continue with this type of service where there has to be some sort of reward for people to participate. I feel like too many people ask "What's in it for me?" before even considering getting involved in a service opportunity. I'm sorry but if you are only getting involved and helping out because you get a free meal or to boost your ego then you are not doing service. Service in its purest form there is no evidence of selfishness or motivation for personal gain.

(deep breath)

So with all this I come to this conclusion that we need to redefine service. We have to reclaim it for what it is really suppose to be about. It is imperative that we check our motivations for becoming involved in service ensuring that our motives are pure and just. And with that, I step off my soap box.

SPRING BREAK in MISSISSIPPI

This past week I spent some time down in Pascagoula, Mississippi with a group of ASU students for an Alternative Spring Break trip. After a fresh shower and a meal that doesn't consist of PB&J I am beginning to reflect on a great week. 11 hours. 11 hours I spent in a 12 passenger van to Mississippi with a bunch of students I had only seen a handful of times. We had a vague idea of the type of work we would be doing in a place we knew nothing about. We got down to Pascagoula Saturday evening and soon made plans to go see a Mardi Gras parade in Mobile, Alabama the next day. What a great way to start out a trip! I never knew that I could become so excited about getting beads thrown at me!

Yay Beads!!

Throughout the week we worked on a house that had been impacted by Hurricane Katrina. The house had been flooded and within the last 5 years it has started to slowly get pieced back together. Apparently, soon after Katrina contractors would come to work on people's homes, promise to fix up all the damage but instead took off with their money and left their homes in ruins. Our group got to work on a home by caulking and painting the whole house. We started off the week with excess amounts of enthusiasm and nearly had the house finished painting by the end of the first day. After a little pep talk at the end of our first day, we decided to go back and be a little more meticulous with the work we were doing.

We worked with a man who had grown up in Mississippi but then moved around the country a lot. He heard about things taking place back in MS and decided to help out. What he does is he raises money from the help of donors and finds volunteers to fix up homes in the Pascagoula area. In the past two years he has helped over 50 families who were effected by Katrina.

While working, we kept ourselves entertained fairly well. We sang songs. We spoke in ridiculous accents. We turned the paint into face paint. We climbed up on the roof just to catch a few rays of sun. It was great! An older gentleman Ned was working with us on the house. Ned became a major theme in newly created songs, conversations and inside jokes. The best moments were when we got Ned to sing "Big Green Tractor" by Jason Aldean with us while working on the house. There was also another guy working on the house who was born in MN so of course we got to talking about the land of 10,000 lakes! He now lives in MN but has been coming back to MN in the summers to participate in the triathlon in Buffalo, MN. Crazy meeting up with someone familiar with my home town on a service trip in Mississippi.

Oh Ned!

The group was 9 girls and 1 guy - poor Clay! Everyone was great! On the ride down we were still figuring out each others' names, but by the end of the week we were laughing like crazy and crackin' jokes with each other like we had known each other for years. I don't think I have ever laughed so much in one week. It's funny to me how this group of strangers have seen the real me, while the people I go to class with every day have only - at best- seen a glimpse of who I really am.

Excited faces!!

Wednesday there was a storm in the morning that prevented us from working. We spent the day playing Sardines and taking naps. We also decided to take a little driving tour around Pascagoula. The houses that are now on the Gulf are million dollar homes but there are still a lot of empty lots right there on the coast. You can see other parts of the city are still abandoned and destroyed from the Hurricane. We also somehow ended up by the port just around the time everyone was getting off of work. I don't recommend doing that. YIKES! So many people!

By Friday we had the house all painted on the outside as well as the inside. We even got to grout the kitchen and bathroom floors, which was an unexpected but welcomed task. Our help wasn't a major impact like the home next to us that had 40 people working on it and was gutted and resided within the week. But we did get to move the house one step closer to being a place someone can come home to and hopefully be a continued sign of hope for the people of Mississippi.

The best part of the week was going to get some BBQ at The Shed. Rumor has it this BBQ & Blues joint has been featured on Dinners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. It has some incredible BBQ and you can sit outside under the stars warmed by the heat provided by the nearby bonfire all while listening to a great blues band play hits from Johnny Cash and Elvis among many others. It was fantastic! If you ever end up in Ocean Springs, Mississippi you must go eat there! You won't regret it.

And then after another LONG 11 hour drive I am back in Boone. I am so glad I got the opportunity to go to Mississippi for this trip. I was glad to get to know some students that don't live in my building and to be a part of something bigger than myself. I was reminded that one person can really make a difference in this world. I know that I may not be fixing homes and restoring hope, but I do hope that something I am doing here at ASU is making a difference. So all in all - GREAT trip! Mississippi, it's been real!

Day at the Nail Salon

Today I took a much needed "Jacki Day". In the two-hour period it took for me to drag myself out of my bed, I decided it was time to go get a pedicure and get my brows cleaned up, especially since I have three trips coming up in the next month. I have always found that a half hour spent in the comfort of a massage chair while getting my nails done is a great way to detox. However, no matter how relaxing that massage chair may be, my experience nearly ALWAYS reflects the events that take place in this video. Not kidding.

"You like long or short nail?"

"Short nails, please. Thanks."

" Oh honey, thats why you don't have  boyfriend!" 

Oh, shut it Tammi!

Need a Vacay!

While trolling through some old pictures I have on my computer, I came across these beauties of last year's trip to Florida...

Sigh. I need a vacation.

However, I will be headed to Pascagoula, Mississippi on March 5th for an Alternative Spring Break trip with ASU. I am SO READY to get off this mountain for a week even though it isn't headed to the beaches of Miami. Then before you know it, I will soon be making my way back across the pond to the UK. 40 days folks! Seriously cannot wait until then!! Vacay...I hear you callin'. I'm comin' for ya!

One Year Ago

At this time in life I look back to where I was a year ago. Mainly because this upcoming weekend is GAPP (Graduate Assistant Preview Program or something like that) weekend here at ASU. I remember sitting at my desk at YouthWorks and getting the e-mail saying that I was invited to come to GAPP weekend and interview for different assistantships. With a sudden celebration held in the good ole' Service Center-knowing us it was probably a dance party...probably just Derksy and me - it was on to the next step of moving towards the goal of grad school. $800 later and two tickets were booked for my mom and I to take a trip to some random place called Boone, North Carolina. I was so excited! The dream was inching closer and closer to becoming a reality.

Then I got to Boone and for a period of 36 hours I was dead set on NOT going to ASU. We drove up throw Blowing Rock in a freaking blizzard, the town reminded me of all the small towns in MN that still have a Pamida (a store a step below K-Mart. Yes, there is such a thing). However, confession time, I saw they had a Jimmy Johns and a 2-story Wendy's and for a moment thought I may be able to survive in a town like this...but only for a moment. Upon entering our empty apartment in Mountaineer Hall my mother and I looked at each other and we both agreed that ASU was not a school I would be attending. GAPP then became a weekend of practice interviews for me. Only problem was that after spending a couple days on campus, I actually started to like the school. And then from like it soon turned to loving the school! Mom and I got some ASU gear and left Boone secretly hoping that I would be able to call that tiny little town home one day. Then came the wait-list and the call from the Assistant Director about my shortcomings in communication and I was ready to wash my hands of ASU completely. But of course the day after that came the call offering me the position. And now I reflect on all that has taken place from "Yes, I accept the position." until now.

Many things have changed since then and I have learned so much about myself and others throughout the process. All the ups and downs now seem to me as minor speed bumps that are bound to occur along the way. I also find myself eagerly awaiting to be looking back on today after yet another year. I'm ready to see how this unpredictable and crazy year is shaping me and making me a better and stronger person. I'm ready to see these things that currently appear to me as immovable mountains seem more like innocent mole hills that were more of a nuisance than anything else. I'm ready to see what things stay the same and to look back on the things that, without my control, changed so quickly for the better. What a true and major understatement it is to say "a lot can happen in a year". And this is something I am really hoping for. Can't wait for next year.

The Plan

Within the first couple months of grad school, our professors and other student affairs professionals would come to class and have us share what we hope to do with our careers after we are done at ASU. My thoughts would then result in the following: "Sunshine, please. Let's slow down for just one second. I just got here and am in no place to have my future figured out." The thought of having to know who we we're going to be within the profession caused a lot of unnecessary stress and I was certain that it was going to take an exponential amount of time to figure "the plan" out.

Well, with a semester of grad school completed, each day I become more and more confident that I am in the right profession for me. And to my surprise, I believe that I have actually figured out the answer to the question I was asked by my professors 5 months ago. So here it is. I'm going to put it in writing here to either, serve as a form of accountability or maybe 5 years down the road when I am doing something completely different it will show me just how far I have come since today. The plan is...(drum roll please) to be a Director within the Office of International Education and Development. If that just sounded like a foreign language to you, it means I really want to work within study abroad programs at a University. I believe I am so drawn to this area of my field because my two months spent in Europe and Africa during my undergraduate years changed my life! The memories I have from that time and the lessons I learned there are so precious to me. I am constantly telling the students I know that they should really pursue studying abroad and I want to keep being an advocate for the benefits such an experience can have on an individual. I am even doing my research project on issues related to study abroad!

So that's the plan. I'm not certain when I'll get there, but I know someday I will. This summer I am hoping to work within ASU's Office of International Education and Development (OIED) to start getting my foot in the door and to become more familiar with what that functional area is like. Some other parts of the plan include becoming fluent in two languages. I am hoping to pick up Spanish again and then I believe I will then pick up French. I would also like to work in England for a period of time. And probably, (oh gosh am I really about to say this?!) will pursue getting my PhD. Yikes! I have a lot of work a head of me. But even with all the work needing to get done and things I need to check off my list, it feels really good to have an idea of what I want to do, who I want to be and what I am working towards.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

Jeremiah 29:11

Saturday Evenings in the Life of a Grad Student

Warning: don't expect the tales of how I spend my Saturday evenings while in grad school to be wild adventures. Must I remind you that I live in Boone. This particular Saturday was spent mostly in the company of the vast array of literature and texts that could be found in Belk library here at ASU. Six hours mind you. (What a rebel I am) Then it was off to the office to work on some things for an upcoming project and for staff appreciation day taking place this next Wednesday. By 8pm I am finally  making my way back to my apartment with the anticipation of again finding myself drowning in a sea of reading for research and making poor attempts to write a brief on the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. (I can tell that you are already jealous of the evening's events)

However; to my complete delight and surprise, I come across my favorite movie, Pride and Prejudice on t.v. and thus find my itinerary for the evening altered. What is even better is discovering that my best friend, Jorgen and my mother are watching it back in MN as well. I plead with Jorgen to make sure that I never end up with a man similar in stature and personality to that of Mr. Collins. And I press my mother to a.)purchase said movie for me for a Valentine's Day gift and b.) to ensure that my dad learns a particular speech present within the move. With the finale of the movie, instead of returning to my previous plan for the evening, I instead choose to watch another version of the same movie. I will admit that I have a slight addiction to Jane Austen and her stories. And with a small glass of wine and the likes of Mr. Darcy, I spend this Saturday evening, quite content! For your viewing pleasure, one of my favorite scenes from Pride and Prejudice (one E likes to cut out - curses!) Enjoy!