Grad School: Year One

To Do List

Write 4 Reflection Papers

Finish Transition Report

Complete First Yr of Grad School

Laundry

Well folks, completing my first year of graduate school has been crossed off the To-Do list. I am now a 2nd year! And I have no idea where that first year went. It has been nothing short of a whirl wind year, but it has meet and exceeded so many expectations. I don't even know if there is a possible way to fully describe this first year of grad school to you. I feel that I could bombard you with adjectives such as amazing, wonderful, challenging, fantastic, exciting, thrilling, empowering, stressful, exhausting, exhilarating, refreshing, etc. But I'm not sure words such as those would do this year justice. 

I think I can look back on this first year as a success due to many contributing factors. But the most important one is family. Family had a HUGE part to play in this adventure. First off, my parents and siblings have been so supportive of this journey I am on. I can always count on them even though I am over 20 hours away from home. This year I was fortunate to have a staff that have blessed me in ways I am not deserving of and I am so thankful to call them my family. I love you guys!! I was also blessed by being adopted into the Carruth family here in Boone. Andrew just graduated from my program, and He and his AMAZING wife Leigh and their daughter welcomed me into their lives and home. I could not have made it through this year without them. On top of all that, I have my CSD family, my housing family, and the ASU family in general. I work alongside some incredible people. I have met and interacted with some of the most amazing students. Students who inspire me, challenge me, and support me and  I could only hope to be as cool as they are one day!

All of the experiences I have had throughout this past year, both good and bad, have been tremendous growth opportunities and I wouldn't trade them for the world. And the great part about it all, I still have another year left! I want to offer my congratulations to all the 2nd years who graduated this weekend! I am so proud of all of you! Thank you for being such great mentors and showing us the way!

Now it's time to bring in the new first years and show them what App is all about!

Alive and Well in the UK!

Just wanted to give a quick update from the UK! The trip is going so well!! We have been so blessed by great weather and the group is getting along very well. We have visited 3 universities. First stop was the University of Glasgow. Beautiful campus! Then it was on to the University of Aberdeen. Really enjoyed that school as they were so welcoming!! Next visit and favorite so far was going to the University of St. Andrew. Fell in love with the school and city! They have such great tradition there and it's something I would love to be a part of!! Maybe one day :). Tomorrow we are going to the University of Chester. Did you know Chester dates back to 79 A.D.?? Crazy!!

So in all really loving this trip! So glad this is a part of my graduate school experience. More updates to come upon return to the states. Cheers!!

One Year Ago

At this time in life I look back to where I was a year ago. Mainly because this upcoming weekend is GAPP (Graduate Assistant Preview Program or something like that) weekend here at ASU. I remember sitting at my desk at YouthWorks and getting the e-mail saying that I was invited to come to GAPP weekend and interview for different assistantships. With a sudden celebration held in the good ole' Service Center-knowing us it was probably a dance party...probably just Derksy and me - it was on to the next step of moving towards the goal of grad school. $800 later and two tickets were booked for my mom and I to take a trip to some random place called Boone, North Carolina. I was so excited! The dream was inching closer and closer to becoming a reality.

Then I got to Boone and for a period of 36 hours I was dead set on NOT going to ASU. We drove up throw Blowing Rock in a freaking blizzard, the town reminded me of all the small towns in MN that still have a Pamida (a store a step below K-Mart. Yes, there is such a thing). However, confession time, I saw they had a Jimmy Johns and a 2-story Wendy's and for a moment thought I may be able to survive in a town like this...but only for a moment. Upon entering our empty apartment in Mountaineer Hall my mother and I looked at each other and we both agreed that ASU was not a school I would be attending. GAPP then became a weekend of practice interviews for me. Only problem was that after spending a couple days on campus, I actually started to like the school. And then from like it soon turned to loving the school! Mom and I got some ASU gear and left Boone secretly hoping that I would be able to call that tiny little town home one day. Then came the wait-list and the call from the Assistant Director about my shortcomings in communication and I was ready to wash my hands of ASU completely. But of course the day after that came the call offering me the position. And now I reflect on all that has taken place from "Yes, I accept the position." until now.

Many things have changed since then and I have learned so much about myself and others throughout the process. All the ups and downs now seem to me as minor speed bumps that are bound to occur along the way. I also find myself eagerly awaiting to be looking back on today after yet another year. I'm ready to see how this unpredictable and crazy year is shaping me and making me a better and stronger person. I'm ready to see these things that currently appear to me as immovable mountains seem more like innocent mole hills that were more of a nuisance than anything else. I'm ready to see what things stay the same and to look back on the things that, without my control, changed so quickly for the better. What a true and major understatement it is to say "a lot can happen in a year". And this is something I am really hoping for. Can't wait for next year.

The Plan

Within the first couple months of grad school, our professors and other student affairs professionals would come to class and have us share what we hope to do with our careers after we are done at ASU. My thoughts would then result in the following: "Sunshine, please. Let's slow down for just one second. I just got here and am in no place to have my future figured out." The thought of having to know who we we're going to be within the profession caused a lot of unnecessary stress and I was certain that it was going to take an exponential amount of time to figure "the plan" out.

Well, with a semester of grad school completed, each day I become more and more confident that I am in the right profession for me. And to my surprise, I believe that I have actually figured out the answer to the question I was asked by my professors 5 months ago. So here it is. I'm going to put it in writing here to either, serve as a form of accountability or maybe 5 years down the road when I am doing something completely different it will show me just how far I have come since today. The plan is...(drum roll please) to be a Director within the Office of International Education and Development. If that just sounded like a foreign language to you, it means I really want to work within study abroad programs at a University. I believe I am so drawn to this area of my field because my two months spent in Europe and Africa during my undergraduate years changed my life! The memories I have from that time and the lessons I learned there are so precious to me. I am constantly telling the students I know that they should really pursue studying abroad and I want to keep being an advocate for the benefits such an experience can have on an individual. I am even doing my research project on issues related to study abroad!

So that's the plan. I'm not certain when I'll get there, but I know someday I will. This summer I am hoping to work within ASU's Office of International Education and Development (OIED) to start getting my foot in the door and to become more familiar with what that functional area is like. Some other parts of the plan include becoming fluent in two languages. I am hoping to pick up Spanish again and then I believe I will then pick up French. I would also like to work in England for a period of time. And probably, (oh gosh am I really about to say this?!) will pursue getting my PhD. Yikes! I have a lot of work a head of me. But even with all the work needing to get done and things I need to check off my list, it feels really good to have an idea of what I want to do, who I want to be and what I am working towards.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

Jeremiah 29:11

Saturday Evenings in the Life of a Grad Student

Warning: don't expect the tales of how I spend my Saturday evenings while in grad school to be wild adventures. Must I remind you that I live in Boone. This particular Saturday was spent mostly in the company of the vast array of literature and texts that could be found in Belk library here at ASU. Six hours mind you. (What a rebel I am) Then it was off to the office to work on some things for an upcoming project and for staff appreciation day taking place this next Wednesday. By 8pm I am finally  making my way back to my apartment with the anticipation of again finding myself drowning in a sea of reading for research and making poor attempts to write a brief on the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. (I can tell that you are already jealous of the evening's events)

However; to my complete delight and surprise, I come across my favorite movie, Pride and Prejudice on t.v. and thus find my itinerary for the evening altered. What is even better is discovering that my best friend, Jorgen and my mother are watching it back in MN as well. I plead with Jorgen to make sure that I never end up with a man similar in stature and personality to that of Mr. Collins. And I press my mother to a.)purchase said movie for me for a Valentine's Day gift and b.) to ensure that my dad learns a particular speech present within the move. With the finale of the movie, instead of returning to my previous plan for the evening, I instead choose to watch another version of the same movie. I will admit that I have a slight addiction to Jane Austen and her stories. And with a small glass of wine and the likes of Mr. Darcy, I spend this Saturday evening, quite content! For your viewing pleasure, one of my favorite scenes from Pride and Prejudice (one E likes to cut out - curses!) Enjoy!

Lock Picks and Jimmy Rigs

I believe that the events of tonight are probably going to end up being some of my favorite memories of grad school. The story begins when I decide to move from my usual working place of my RA office to my RD office. I don't ever use this office because I highly dislike the location and the way the office is arranged. But tonight for some unknown reason, I decided to give working from that space a go. Big mistake. I stepped out of my RD office to go grab some information out of a different office, but then realized that I needed my keys to access such information. When I went back to get my keys from my RD office I saw that the door was now closed and, to my dismay, was also locked!! Which wouldn't be a big deal if I had a spare or if the master key that can get into every other room in this 9 story building would work on this door. But no, this door has to be special. LAME! It also wouldn't be much of a dilemma if I wasn't currently the RD on Duty for the West Side of campus and all the keys I need for such a position are safely locked behind aforementioned special door. Double Lame!

One of my staff members trying to console my immediately produced anxiety offers me pizza. (thanks Brian) And then one resident comes down to visit and thus becomes the recipient of my retelling of this tragic tale. I beg, plead even, for her to attempt to pick the lock, which she claims she has done successfully before. While she is shoving and twisting bobby pins into the lock on my door, a group of boys from the 5th floor come down with tools in hand. Realizing that this special door wasn't going to be as easy to access as they hoped, they proceed to thinking of clever and inventive ways to get inside my RD chambers. With the right amount of man power and a little jimmy rigging they were certain they could get through my 2nd story outside window. Hoping to preserve them from any unnecessary injury a fellow RD Shane (MY HERO) recommends calling ASU police to see if they have a key for the door. Swallowing my shame I make the call. Hope has arrived! They say they can get into my door! While waiting for my rescuer, a larger mass of people come down to assess the scene. And then the officer arrives. With a lingering sense of doubt I see him fiddle around with his set of keys, and then........VICTORY!! The door opens! I jump for joy and have to seriously restrain myself from hugging the officer! I run into my office, pull out my massive set of keys, and place them securely around my neck! While glad I now have my keys safely in hand, the 5th floor boys walk away disappointed that they didn't have a chance to execute their master plan. I appreciate the support boys!  Tonight will probably be the last night I use my RD office for the semester. And therein lies the end of my tale. Never a dull moment!

Going "Home"

I don't know what I think of when I talk about "home" anymore. Technically, I guess you could say that I'm "home" now being back in MN. I'm at the house I grew up in. I see all the marks on my bedroom door when I tried to figure out how tall I was when I was growing up. Under my bed there are three plastic storage bins filled with pictures, old homework assignments, all the articles from my hometown newspaper where I happened to be mentioned. I still know how to walk up the wooden stairs that lead up to my bedroom so that they won't make any noise and wake my parents up. Everything is just the same. But it feels so different. And I can't help but feel a little bit like a guest.

(when did the place I grew up in and considered home become just "my parent's place"?)

For the last four months, I have been calling Boone my home. Even though when I first moved down there I was dead set on just being in Boone long enough for school and when I was finished, I was headed back to MN to stay for good. At that time, MN was "home" and there wasn't anywhere else that could take that title. But now, something else has. And I am okay with that. Also, I know that a year and a half from now, I will be leaving the place I now call "home" and will be finding a new "home". With confidence I can say, I won't be coming back to MN. (hey with all the snow and freezing cold we have now, who would blame me?)The world is at my fingertips, I might as well go explore it. Here I come world! (said with a triumphantly raised fist) And...if my next home is half as great as my current home, well, then I am in for a treat! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MN. Minnesota is absolutely amazing during the summer. And if you happen to be obsessed with bodies of water like myself, MN is right up your alley.

But what I am finally realizing is that "home" isn't a specific place. Now...I'll stop myself from saying the whole "home is where the heart is" bit because I have never been too fond of throwing up in my mouth. However, I see the truth behind it.

The moments I feel most as home is when I am with the people I love the most. The people who challenge me to become a better person. The people who love me and my goofy self. The people who continually to reaffirm that I have some of the best friends in the world and that I am one truly blessed individual. People I love = home.

Which is probably why I have felt most at home in South Africa, Chicago and now Boone. (don't worry...MN makes the list, too!)

So in reality, home is where YOU are!

Artwork by: Valentina Ramos

Then and Now

Fall semester has nearly come to an end and I am one week away from going back home to MN. Now that life has slowed down and I have time to breathe, it's interesting to look back on how I started the semester and where I am now. I got to ASU so excited about everything ahead of me, but also scared out of my mind! I remember being so overwhelmed during training, always wondering "how in the world am I going to be able to do this job?" I was so afraid of failing and not being able keep up with everything. I was the annoying first-year that wouldn't leave the second-years alone - always asking more questions than necessary. On top of that, I often questioned my place within the CSD program, feeling like I didn't have enough experience to dive into the Student Affairs profession and be successful.

And now four months later, I am finally starting to feel like I have something to give back. This semester I have had so many things take place that have caused me to learn more about myself and what I want to be about. I have also had the opportunities (by way of homework assignments) to reflect on experiences that have shaped who I am and the things I am most passionate about. And I am now to a point where I feel more confident in what I can give back and what kind of legacy I want to leave. I have seen how stubborn I can be when it comes to things I believe in. I have also seen that I am my own worst critic and am someone who will sacrifice many things for the benefit of others - sometimes to an unhealthy extent. I have learned that it's okay to not have the answers for everything and to just go with the flow. I have learned that I can't do everything myself (even though I try to) and asking for help does not mean I failed. I have learned that some of the most important lessons I will learn won't come from within the classroom but come from the amazing people I have been blessed to get to know. So much has happened and I'm only a quarter of the way through this whole crazy ride. Bumpy as it may be at times, I love it! And I am so thankful that I am here. While I am psyched about getting some time away, I am ready for the next chapter of this journey and look forward to the lessons I will be privileged to learn.