Start of Something New

The world is always in movement.

- V. S. Naipaul 

Something about being in Boone makes the above statement even more true. I feel like ever since I have arrived in Boone my life has always been stuck in this constant fluidity of change.  Learning a new job. Meeting new people. Adjusting to this hippie culture. Trying to figure what it exactly means to be a Mountaineer. And now, even though it's technically "summer" here at App State, I feel that I have been experiencing more changes now than ever before. While some of these changes are great and better than what I expected. Some take time to adjust to and I'm not always so thrilled about them when I first become aware of them. Some make me smile and maybe even blush a little! ;) Yet, others have brought me to tears and left me completely confused and frustrated. But no matter what, whether I am happy about the change or not, I strive to see the good. I have to look for the thing that keeps me going and the ways that I could possibly become a better person because of this new adventure in my life. No matter what I do to stop the curve balls from coming, they always seem to show up when I least expect. Might as well make the best out of it and enjoy the ride!

Grad School: Year One

To Do List

Write 4 Reflection Papers

Finish Transition Report

Complete First Yr of Grad School

Laundry

Well folks, completing my first year of graduate school has been crossed off the To-Do list. I am now a 2nd year! And I have no idea where that first year went. It has been nothing short of a whirl wind year, but it has meet and exceeded so many expectations. I don't even know if there is a possible way to fully describe this first year of grad school to you. I feel that I could bombard you with adjectives such as amazing, wonderful, challenging, fantastic, exciting, thrilling, empowering, stressful, exhausting, exhilarating, refreshing, etc. But I'm not sure words such as those would do this year justice. 

I think I can look back on this first year as a success due to many contributing factors. But the most important one is family. Family had a HUGE part to play in this adventure. First off, my parents and siblings have been so supportive of this journey I am on. I can always count on them even though I am over 20 hours away from home. This year I was fortunate to have a staff that have blessed me in ways I am not deserving of and I am so thankful to call them my family. I love you guys!! I was also blessed by being adopted into the Carruth family here in Boone. Andrew just graduated from my program, and He and his AMAZING wife Leigh and their daughter welcomed me into their lives and home. I could not have made it through this year without them. On top of all that, I have my CSD family, my housing family, and the ASU family in general. I work alongside some incredible people. I have met and interacted with some of the most amazing students. Students who inspire me, challenge me, and support me and  I could only hope to be as cool as they are one day!

All of the experiences I have had throughout this past year, both good and bad, have been tremendous growth opportunities and I wouldn't trade them for the world. And the great part about it all, I still have another year left! I want to offer my congratulations to all the 2nd years who graduated this weekend! I am so proud of all of you! Thank you for being such great mentors and showing us the way!

Now it's time to bring in the new first years and show them what App is all about!

One Year Ago

At this time in life I look back to where I was a year ago. Mainly because this upcoming weekend is GAPP (Graduate Assistant Preview Program or something like that) weekend here at ASU. I remember sitting at my desk at YouthWorks and getting the e-mail saying that I was invited to come to GAPP weekend and interview for different assistantships. With a sudden celebration held in the good ole' Service Center-knowing us it was probably a dance party...probably just Derksy and me - it was on to the next step of moving towards the goal of grad school. $800 later and two tickets were booked for my mom and I to take a trip to some random place called Boone, North Carolina. I was so excited! The dream was inching closer and closer to becoming a reality.

Then I got to Boone and for a period of 36 hours I was dead set on NOT going to ASU. We drove up throw Blowing Rock in a freaking blizzard, the town reminded me of all the small towns in MN that still have a Pamida (a store a step below K-Mart. Yes, there is such a thing). However, confession time, I saw they had a Jimmy Johns and a 2-story Wendy's and for a moment thought I may be able to survive in a town like this...but only for a moment. Upon entering our empty apartment in Mountaineer Hall my mother and I looked at each other and we both agreed that ASU was not a school I would be attending. GAPP then became a weekend of practice interviews for me. Only problem was that after spending a couple days on campus, I actually started to like the school. And then from like it soon turned to loving the school! Mom and I got some ASU gear and left Boone secretly hoping that I would be able to call that tiny little town home one day. Then came the wait-list and the call from the Assistant Director about my shortcomings in communication and I was ready to wash my hands of ASU completely. But of course the day after that came the call offering me the position. And now I reflect on all that has taken place from "Yes, I accept the position." until now.

Many things have changed since then and I have learned so much about myself and others throughout the process. All the ups and downs now seem to me as minor speed bumps that are bound to occur along the way. I also find myself eagerly awaiting to be looking back on today after yet another year. I'm ready to see how this unpredictable and crazy year is shaping me and making me a better and stronger person. I'm ready to see these things that currently appear to me as immovable mountains seem more like innocent mole hills that were more of a nuisance than anything else. I'm ready to see what things stay the same and to look back on the things that, without my control, changed so quickly for the better. What a true and major understatement it is to say "a lot can happen in a year". And this is something I am really hoping for. Can't wait for next year.

The Little Things...

Today was a great day.

A great day that I needed desperately! It wasn't because of anything major but because of a ton of little things that caused me to feel joyful for the first time in a while. It started off by finally getting to go to church at The Heart here in Boone. Last time I had been able to go to that service was back in September. On top of that, today in Boone it was nearly 60, sunny and perfect! Need I remind you that it is still January and since I'm a Minnesota girl, I have NEVER experienced 60 and sunny in January before. That in itself should make anyone really happy. Yet small, but great things kept coming up.

For me, today I found joy in a fountain coke from Jimmy Johns, hearing Miranda Lambert's song The House that Built Me on the radio (and then about ten more times through youtube). I found it in driving with the windows rolled down. And through some much needed vitamin D attained by a great hike up at Beacon Heights.

As well as working on my research project with a great partner - YAY Meg! By driving down some Tennessee back country roads with Rebecca and Grant singing amazing songs from the late 90's while trying to avoid hitting the possums that like to dart out in front of oncoming traffic. Joy was in some Postsecret cards that stuck out to me for one reason or another.

New Secrets Each Sunday at www.postsecret.com

 Conversations with friends and family. Verses that say just the right thing at the right time. Taking a day for myself instead of doing homework. All of these things, small as they may be, are the things that caused me to have a pretty remarkable day! So today, I'm thankful for the little things in life!

Going "Home"

I don't know what I think of when I talk about "home" anymore. Technically, I guess you could say that I'm "home" now being back in MN. I'm at the house I grew up in. I see all the marks on my bedroom door when I tried to figure out how tall I was when I was growing up. Under my bed there are three plastic storage bins filled with pictures, old homework assignments, all the articles from my hometown newspaper where I happened to be mentioned. I still know how to walk up the wooden stairs that lead up to my bedroom so that they won't make any noise and wake my parents up. Everything is just the same. But it feels so different. And I can't help but feel a little bit like a guest.

(when did the place I grew up in and considered home become just "my parent's place"?)

For the last four months, I have been calling Boone my home. Even though when I first moved down there I was dead set on just being in Boone long enough for school and when I was finished, I was headed back to MN to stay for good. At that time, MN was "home" and there wasn't anywhere else that could take that title. But now, something else has. And I am okay with that. Also, I know that a year and a half from now, I will be leaving the place I now call "home" and will be finding a new "home". With confidence I can say, I won't be coming back to MN. (hey with all the snow and freezing cold we have now, who would blame me?)The world is at my fingertips, I might as well go explore it. Here I come world! (said with a triumphantly raised fist) And...if my next home is half as great as my current home, well, then I am in for a treat! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MN. Minnesota is absolutely amazing during the summer. And if you happen to be obsessed with bodies of water like myself, MN is right up your alley.

But what I am finally realizing is that "home" isn't a specific place. Now...I'll stop myself from saying the whole "home is where the heart is" bit because I have never been too fond of throwing up in my mouth. However, I see the truth behind it.

The moments I feel most as home is when I am with the people I love the most. The people who challenge me to become a better person. The people who love me and my goofy self. The people who continually to reaffirm that I have some of the best friends in the world and that I am one truly blessed individual. People I love = home.

Which is probably why I have felt most at home in South Africa, Chicago and now Boone. (don't worry...MN makes the list, too!)

So in reality, home is where YOU are!

Artwork by: Valentina Ramos

Winter Has Arrived

Not going to lie that I had high hopes that moving 20 hours south of Minnesota would mean that winter wouldn't last that long. Well right now it's not off to a promising start. Winter has officially arrived in Boone. There's snow. Lots of snow. And just because I grew up in Minnesota and can drive in this mess with the best of them does not mean that I am about to do cartwheels that it's here. It's cold! And the wind here blows horizontally. So that when you are walking around you can't make eye contact with the other poor individuals attempting to make their way across campus because the wind makes the snow pelt you in the eye. And when you walk outside, you have to look like this guy...

 Which, I think we can all agree on, is so cute! (hmm...) Not sure why the song "Fat man in a little coat" always goes through my head when I see this. But I suppose there are some great things that comes with the snow. It's an easy excuse to stay inside and watch movies. Lots of movies. Snow-angels. Simple yet fun. Sledding. Because who doesn't want to bring out their inner child and spend the afternoon sliding down hills! Snowball fights - sure, according to ASU rules I need your consent before I can unload on you, but I figure if you read this, you are giving me consent! And gosh darn it, it is the Christmas season and I haven't ever seen a Christmas where there wasn't snow. So while my apartment is about the average temperature of an igloo, I might as well get on the bandwagon and give three cheers to winter! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!