Day Maker!

Sometimes the envy I feel for people's natural ability to be witty is beyond words. I just don't know how they do it, but I want that skill so badly. One such person is my cousin Kari. The things that come out of her mouth are some of the best things I have ever heard in my life! I feel like from the last 25 years of knowing her, I would have gained some of her gift, but no. My luck, it will take another 25 years. But today I got an e-mail from her tonight and the last line within the e-mail made me bust a gut. The line reads "May the fleas of a thousand camels infect the crotch of anyone who ruins your day!" LOL! Genius! Gosh, why did I think of that one?! What makes it even better is the visual I get in my head of that statement. All I see is man running away screaming as a swarm of fleas follows in fast pursuit! It brings me joy! That is the wit I desire of myself. But for now, I'll allow Kari's comedic genius to be the thing that makes my day!

Jenny in NC

It finally happened. I knew it would. It was just a matter of time. I got homesick. Well, to be totally honest, homesickness was just an addition to an already developing emotional breakdown. Nonetheless, I needed someone from home. I was tempted for a moment to fly home. After all, this past weekend, my mom's side of the family did celebrate Christmas. Yes. Christmas in October. Let's not dwell on that at the moment. But the thought of going home and having to be around so many people, sorry family - I do love you, would have been way too overwhelming, especially with the current state I'm in. So what did I do, I begged. Pleaded even. Until finally I found a taker on the offer of "Any MN friends want to come visit me in Boone for the weekend? I'll fly you down here! Not even kidding." I was able to fly one of my best friends, Jenny, down here for a measly 24 hours. And folks, let me tell you, those 24 hours were great! I needed them so badly. For the first time in a while, I finally felt like I wasn't 20 hours away from home. I had a person in my life I could just be myself with. It was fantastic! Just what the doctor ordered. My friends are so important to me. And I'm the type of person that only allows myself to get really close with a select few. And those friendships are ones I'll fight for. They are the ones I will pay $600 for them to come see me for 24 hours. And while friendships have their ups and downs too, I am certain those things can only bring people closer together in the end. So even though a breakdown had to occur for it to take place, Jenny I am so glad you came to Boone! Love you!

Fall in Boone

I had a feeling that when I moved down to Boone, NC that there would be times when I would find myself awestruck by the beauty around me. One such moment...Autumn! Last week, two of my friends, Emily and Eric, and I went up on the Blue Ridge Parkway to do some hiking at Rough Ridge. I had been up to Rough Ridge prior to this trip, but I was up there at night. Which, I must admit, was amazing! It was a great night with a great view and some great company. But this would be my first time taking on Rough Ridge during the day...let alone with some of the most amazing fall colors I have ever seen. When climbing up to the first overlook area, I was constantly wondering how I ever made it up those rocks at night, with flip flops, with a cell phone as my light, right after it rained and somehow survived. The trip up this time had some interesting entertainment. A family of four was doing some hiking too. The oldest child was a boy probably around the age of 5. At first, I thought he was a cool kid who wasn't afraid of anything. His excitement and curiosity was endearing Well, by the end of the hike, he became the topic of conversation between Emily, Eric and I and I would be lying if I said we all didn't entertain some thought of holding the kid off the edge of the cliff. Don't worry, we didn't act upon such thoughts...(unfortunately!). No, I'm kidding.
Something else we found hilarious...or maybe a little bit humiliating, was all the elderly couples we saw on the hike and how we felt we were way more winded than they were! Thankfully I was able to keep some of my pride intact as we didn't get lapped by any of them. All in all, it was a great time up on the Parkway. If this isn't the best marketing tool Appalachian State has to attract incoming students, I don't know what is. But I wanted to show you all some pictures so you can share in the beauty I have around me each and every day! If you get a chance, take a trip here in the fall. You won't regret it!

Reasons why I'm here...

On nights like these, I am reminded of the reasons I came to ASU. I love working with students and there is nothing I enjoy more than doing life alongside of them; sharing in their joys as well as in their moments of pain. So when my lonely apartment can become an oasis for one of my students who needs a place to hide out, vent, cry or do nothing at all, that's when I know that I am in the right place.

Lessons From Outside My Comfort Zone

I feel like since I have been here at AppState the most common questions I get asked are how did you hear about AppState and why did you choose AppState? To the first question, I have a refined-by-practice answer of "I looked up the program name and App was the first school that came up." For most people, that is a sufficient answer. But then there are the people that look for more, thus asking the second question. The answer to this question takes more time to process. Since graduating in 2006, my life has been pretty close to predictable. Sure there are always those curve balls that come out of no where and spice things up a bit. But for the most part, I went to the same job each day, spent time with the same friends, went out to the same places, and did all the same things. I had established myself in Minneapolis and life was comfortable. Each day I woke up with a sense of security. To most people, that is a great thing to have, especially right after graduating college. But to me, being comfortable was scary. I wanted to be pushed and to experience things that weren't a part of my daily life; things that made me look at the world in different ways. But since I knew very well that I could lead a comfortable life within the Twin Cities, seeking out the uncomfortable would probably be something I wouldn't choose to do there. So the options were to stay and settle for being comfortable or take a giant leap of faith and go somewhere new. I remember well the day I knew I was going to be taking this said leap of faith. I had just gotten back from spending the summer in Chicago with my job and I was actually scared to go back to Minnesota. I was spending the last night with my staff and out of nowhere I got this strange feeling that things were going to be changing, and soon. It wasn't just a random thought or the idea of what could be, it was a physical feeling of change. My best friend Jorgen was there and I remember saying to her "I feel like something is going to change and it's going to be something that takes me in an entirely different direction. And it's going to be soon." It was the very next day that I found Appstate online. The reason I wanted to go to some obscure school in the mountains of North Carolina was to get out of my comfort zone. At my undergrad, I had been around people who looked and thought like me. I wanted change. I wanted to go to a place where I didn't know a soul and had to really discover who I was as a person. I even went so far as to leave my car back in MN because I saw it as something I could use as an escape mechanism and a place of familiarity and comfort. I left it all behind with hopes of being stretched. Well, I have now been down here for over two months and I can tell you that I have been outside my comfort zone more than I would like. There often have been times when I long for the old monotony of back home just because I knew who I was within it. I knew what to expect of my friends and myself. Within that setting I was confident in my identity. But here, I am constantly finding myself in a sea of uncertainty. Out of nowhere I found myself living in a place completely foreign, working as a Resident Director of a building of 300 freshmen when I have had zero housing experience before, back in school for the first time in 4 years, and let's top it off by starting my first ever dating relationship. The latter being the one thing I swore I would not do during my time here. And Lord knows I tried to fight it, but nonetheless, it started and it was great! So take all that and you have one very uncomfortable person. As time has gone on, one would think a certain level of comfort would be established. But here comes another curve ball and the relationship is over before it ever really got off the ground. When that fell apart, it felt as though everything else did too. Everything was out of my control and I didn't like it. But, yes finally, the but we've (or at least I) have been waiting for. I have learned so many incredible things while being constantly uncomfortable. I have had time to process life and the certain traumatic events that have come to shape my life. I have gotten the opportunities to meet and share life with people one could only hope for. I have been given the chance to really define who I am and what I want to be about. I've learned that being comfortable isn't always right and in more cases than not, it's not allowing you to be the person you're meant to be. I do believe that with great risk comes great reward. And even now, while still in a permanent state of unknown, I am so glad I took that risk and didn't settle for being comfortable. Maybe you should try it too.

Distance Ain't No Thang

I just wanted to write and say how I love it that it doesn't matter that my friends are 20+ hours away from where I am, they are always here for me no matter what. I am so thankful for them and cannot begin to share the ways they have blessed my life! Jorgen, thank you for continuing to text me about when there is a mouse in your house and for sending me videos of Kelly attempting to Salsa dance! The adventure of you two living together always brings a smile to my face! Jenny, thank you for continuing to share your life with me and for letting me share mine with you as though you were right next to me. Keep the poetry coming. I think you're on to something there! Sarah, if I could witness you falling off your chair every time we talked on Skype, I would have a very happy life! Your sense of humor helps me detox from all the craziness in my life. Leigh, you're only more than 20+ hours away for the moment, but I still really appreciate you taking the time to read and respond to my novels via the ever so small screen of a blackberry.What a gem you are! Jacquie, even though we are both insanely busy, I know that if I needed you, you'd be there. I really hope that road trip from Iowa to Boone happens. North Carolina would look good on you! So to all of you fine people, while in distance we may be far away, know that all of you are near and dear to my heart!

Someday...

Someday...I will understand the reason why certain things happen.
Someday...I will understand why things don't always go the way you want them to.
Someday... I will be aware of the lessons I learned throughout this experience.
Someday...I will be thankful for how things turned out.
Someday...someone will choose me.
Someday...He'll say it, and he'll mean it.
Someday...I'll actually get to believe it.
Someday...these tears will be tears of joy.
Someday...