I'm Not Ready To Leave

It's less than a month away until I move to North Carolina for Grad school and I have noticed this internal emotional battle going on within myself. I know that I am supposed to go to North Carolina. I have never felt so sure of something and am very confident that this is where the Lord wants me for the next two years. That assurance has been an incredible comfort to me as I push forward to prepare for the next step in my journey. However, as time is slowly slipping away, I find myself becoming more and more anxious about leaving. I struggle deeply with feeling that I am abandoning people here at home. I know that isn't true and that my dearest friends do not feel that way at all, but I do. And it breaks my heart! I have the most incredible friends and I would not be who I am today without them. And as I get closer to packing up my life and moving it half way across the country, I feel so selfish for leaving them! It scares me that I won't be able to be for them as much as I want to be over the next two years.

On top of that, a couple weeks ago I got to spend a week with a team from SportsLife and just fell in love with them! They are so stinking awesome and I treasure each moment I get to spend with them! And now what do I get to do, leave them. "Hi, I'm Jacki. Let's be really good friends. But only for the next month because I'm getting out of dodge for the next two years." I wish that I could physically have these incredible people in my life for so much longer. And the thought of having to say goodbye to them so quickly makes me really dread going to North Carolina. I can only imagine how I am going to feel as July 22nd draws nearer. But for now, I must not worry about what happens when I'm gone, but really enjoy each blessed moment I have with the people I care most deeply about.

SLC Is In My Veins

For the last three years, there has been something in my life that has caused me an incredible amount of joy, it has helped me grow as a person, it has challenged me to the point of breaking, and it has seeped into my pours and has become a part of who I am. I am sitting here at the SportsLife Camp training for this year, and I feel at home. The sounds, the movement, the language and even the smells are all so familiar and are things that pour out of me naturally. I love it. But I am on the verge of experiencing my first summer in a few years not doing SLC all summer long. And I'm ready for it, I think. But when I'm here, when I meet the staff and I know what is a head of them. I miss it. And I wish I could be doing it too. I wish I got to be in on all the stories they will be sharing throughout the summer. I wish I could be at camp hanging out with all the crazy kids. But that isn't in the cards for me this year. It's suppose to be this way, but part of me wishes it wasn't so. It's hard to walk away from something that has really shaped who you are and then turn from that to something COMPLETELY unfamiliar! It's time for something new and I'm really excited about! And I know that I can enter into this unfamiliar territory with confidence because my time with SLC has prepared me for it! I think no matter how long I am away from SLC it will always be a part of me. It runs through my blood. I. AM. SLC. And proud to have it that way!