Lessons From Outside My Comfort Zone

I feel like since I have been here at AppState the most common questions I get asked are how did you hear about AppState and why did you choose AppState? To the first question, I have a refined-by-practice answer of "I looked up the program name and App was the first school that came up." For most people, that is a sufficient answer. But then there are the people that look for more, thus asking the second question. The answer to this question takes more time to process. Since graduating in 2006, my life has been pretty close to predictable. Sure there are always those curve balls that come out of no where and spice things up a bit. But for the most part, I went to the same job each day, spent time with the same friends, went out to the same places, and did all the same things. I had established myself in Minneapolis and life was comfortable. Each day I woke up with a sense of security. To most people, that is a great thing to have, especially right after graduating college. But to me, being comfortable was scary. I wanted to be pushed and to experience things that weren't a part of my daily life; things that made me look at the world in different ways. But since I knew very well that I could lead a comfortable life within the Twin Cities, seeking out the uncomfortable would probably be something I wouldn't choose to do there. So the options were to stay and settle for being comfortable or take a giant leap of faith and go somewhere new. I remember well the day I knew I was going to be taking this said leap of faith. I had just gotten back from spending the summer in Chicago with my job and I was actually scared to go back to Minnesota. I was spending the last night with my staff and out of nowhere I got this strange feeling that things were going to be changing, and soon. It wasn't just a random thought or the idea of what could be, it was a physical feeling of change. My best friend Jorgen was there and I remember saying to her "I feel like something is going to change and it's going to be something that takes me in an entirely different direction. And it's going to be soon." It was the very next day that I found Appstate online. The reason I wanted to go to some obscure school in the mountains of North Carolina was to get out of my comfort zone. At my undergrad, I had been around people who looked and thought like me. I wanted change. I wanted to go to a place where I didn't know a soul and had to really discover who I was as a person. I even went so far as to leave my car back in MN because I saw it as something I could use as an escape mechanism and a place of familiarity and comfort. I left it all behind with hopes of being stretched. Well, I have now been down here for over two months and I can tell you that I have been outside my comfort zone more than I would like. There often have been times when I long for the old monotony of back home just because I knew who I was within it. I knew what to expect of my friends and myself. Within that setting I was confident in my identity. But here, I am constantly finding myself in a sea of uncertainty. Out of nowhere I found myself living in a place completely foreign, working as a Resident Director of a building of 300 freshmen when I have had zero housing experience before, back in school for the first time in 4 years, and let's top it off by starting my first ever dating relationship. The latter being the one thing I swore I would not do during my time here. And Lord knows I tried to fight it, but nonetheless, it started and it was great! So take all that and you have one very uncomfortable person. As time has gone on, one would think a certain level of comfort would be established. But here comes another curve ball and the relationship is over before it ever really got off the ground. When that fell apart, it felt as though everything else did too. Everything was out of my control and I didn't like it. But, yes finally, the but we've (or at least I) have been waiting for. I have learned so many incredible things while being constantly uncomfortable. I have had time to process life and the certain traumatic events that have come to shape my life. I have gotten the opportunities to meet and share life with people one could only hope for. I have been given the chance to really define who I am and what I want to be about. I've learned that being comfortable isn't always right and in more cases than not, it's not allowing you to be the person you're meant to be. I do believe that with great risk comes great reward. And even now, while still in a permanent state of unknown, I am so glad I took that risk and didn't settle for being comfortable. Maybe you should try it too.