Time to Buckle Up

I'm back by popular demand! And by popular, I mean my mom wants me to keep blogging. Regardless the reason, I'm back. With a new blog look I might add. So as one could imagine, a lot has happened in life since I blogged last. Not hard to do when my last blog post was 4 months ago. No need to share the play-by-play at this point in time, but there is one big change I'd like to highlight. After two incredible years at AppState, I have now pressed onward in my adventures and am now living in Durham, New Hampshire and will be working as a Hall Director for the University of New Hampshire. I have been in Durham for about three weeks now and start my new position tomorrow. I will be the HD over Williamson Hall, which will be the home of myself and about 500 enthusiastic, wide-eyed and somewhat destructive freshmen. Lucky me, right? I have already been briefed on horror stories by some of my staff and fellow hall directors. To say I'm not scared would be on outright lie. I'm terrified! Just occupancy alone, the building is nearly double the size of buildings I have previously managed. I also get to triple my staff size by going from 5 RAs last year to 1 undergrad assistant hall director, 1 administrative assistant and 16 RAs. Yikes! However, while the increase in numbers is very daunting, I am also really excited about all the different ways I will get to grow and improve over this next year. The different adventures my staff and I will embark on will no doubt help me to become a better professional and hopefully I will continue to learn more about myself along the way. As I watch my summer slowly start to fade into the distance, I am getting ready for this wild ride ahead of me. The journey, I'm sure, will be one worth sharing. So buckle up, folks, cause here we go!

Won't Let Me Go

Sheesh...so it looks as though I should be receiving failing marks for my 2 month departure from blogging. Apparently my inner monologue has not been that exciting for me to post anything riveting. However, I have had some thoughts brewing in my mind, oh let's say...for the last two years, so I think now is as good as time as any to make it widely known. And by widely known, I mean my parents, maybe Liz (Hi Liz!) and my friend Al. Small audience, but captive nonetheless. Okay, so my thoughts. One of the main reasons I chose App State for grad school was because I wanted to attend a public school and to get out of the Christian bubble I had so comfortably lived in for 8 years. I needed to see how I would flourish or falter, for that matter. Because my undergraduate institution and then the non-profit I worked for somewhat dictated and determined how my faith would be and should be acted out, it was important for me to see what my faith was like on my own. Fast forward a year and a half and I find myself very reflective on what my faith journey has been like during that time. If I were to put it simply I would say it has not been easy. On top of that there have been many discouraging moments and at other times really revolutionary moments.

For the sake of time and to keep your pupils from going crazy from an extensively long blog, I will focus on one main aspect of my journey: the labeling of Christian. To be frank, I am not a fan. At all. Let me tell you why. While I have been down here in NC, I have really been able to see just how broad and wide the term Christian is. I feel that word is a type of "catch-all" for anyone who has ever sang "Jesus Loves Me", went to church on Christmas, to Jesus himself. And for some reason that range does not sit well with me. Through my faith journey I have seen all these different people who call themselves Christians yet are the most judgmental and hypocritical people I have ever met. I have seen them take what they call faith and manipulate it to fit their desires, beliefs and wants. I was walking past our post office one day and overheard a couple gentlemen talking. One said to the other "well I hope this person doesn't get voted in, so let's hope God thinks the same thing." I'm sorry, but that just does not seem right! After hearing that type of conversation over and over again while being here but also throughout my life, I realized these people, along with myself, call ourselves Christians. Yet the type of faith they have is not what I want my faith to look like.

So I decided not to take on the label of Christian. During a diversity exercise in GA training in January, the question was asked "please stand if you are a Christian". I didn't stand. Friends, in that moment, my heart broke. I felt as though by relinquishing that label I had given up on the values I was raised on and the things I believe in. It hurt so much that when the question "Please stand if you have ever turned your back on your faith" was asked, I stood. It took everything within me for the rest of the afternoon to not burst out in tears. I was so confused as to what my faith looked like and what it even meant to me. I felt disappointed in the things I decided to stand for and not stand for.

But...(hooray for the "but"!) since that moment, I have sensed my faith becoming more than what it was before. It is still, most definitely, a work in progress. I think it took me some time to ponder what I really felt about being called a Christian. If I didn't call myself a Christian did that mean I instantly turned my back on my values? No, it didn't. And even though I felt as though I had failed in my faith by struggling so much with the term "Christian", I noticed that through all the twists and turns and days filled with doubt, the Lord never let me go. It was such a great feeling to realize that in our faith journey, whatever that may be, it is okay to ask questions and at times, be completely unsure about anything and everything. I have been there, done that and will more than likely be back there again sometime soon. Cause no matter how much you question, He won't let  you go.

10 Days and Counting...

While I'd like to think that I'm wildly independent and more than capable to be away from friends and family for extended periods of time. I have finally reached the point where I am more than excited to go home for Winter Break! In 10 days I will gladly bundle up and board a plane back to the frozen Midwest for a two week break from the craziness known as my life. I'm ready to have margaritas with Mother (the house better be stocked when I get home) and sit on the kitchen counter talking to Dad about anything and everything, or just the same stories we laugh at time and time again. And of course, I am eager to spend some much needed time with the best friend in one of my favorite cities! While I'm not a fan of the cold in any way, shape, or form, I will try to soak in every moment while I'm in Minnesota cause I'm not sure the next time I will be back. The semester has been incredible and I have learned a lot, but for my sanity, I need to get away from this hotel. So Minnesota, get ready, cause I'm coming home!

Life in a Hotel

My current place of residence: a hotel. No, I'm not a person a part of the corporate world traveling around living out of a suitcase or a musician living life on the road. I'm a Residence Director of a Panhellenic Hall at ASU which just happens to be a former Sleep Inn. Need proof?

Home Sweet APH

Does that work for you? Or how about the time expedia sent someone to my residence hall for their hotel reservation. "Ma'am, I am sorry but if you can't tell by the hundreds of college-aged girls running around and screaming, you do not have a room booked here for the night!"

And if you can imagine life in a hotel living with nearly 250 Greek women, there is never a dull moment. These ladies never slow down and always keep me on my toes. And if the women aren't enough, the building has a mind of its own as well. You never can tell what direction the elevators are heading. There is a industrial size kitchen on the main floor that looks like it is straight from a scene of The Shinning. And my boss and I just recently found out that the pool area has a retractable roof. With  everything else this building has, a built in sun roof is not surprising.

But with all the quirks and unnatural amount of estrogen, I really love the APH. I have learned a lot about Greek Life and how to work with such a specific and unique population. And I am blessed to have an incredible staff with women who make me want to become a better person and RD each day. So did I ever guess that I'd ever live in a hotel? No...but I'm so thankful I am! Proud to live in the Appalachian Power House!

Stuck on Re-play

Just wanted to share some of my new favorite music. Fun Fact: This guy was a student here at App and of course before I really knew who he was or liked his music, he paid App a visit and I missed him. Nevertheless, his music has been stuck in my head for days!

So check him out!

Retreat ASB Style

This semester I am doing a practicum (similar to an internship) with ASU's Alternative Spring Break program. I really enjoyed going on a trip last Spring and wanted to learn more about how the program was run, especially the trips that go internationally. This past weekend all of the Peer Leaders for all the Fall 2011 and Spring 2012 trips and the ASB Leadership Team went on a retreat to Elk Shoals Camp just outside of Boone. The retreat started out as any retreat should - a roadtrip with 5 girls singing N'Sync, Cee Lo and Shania Twain at the top of our lungs. We may or may not have known every word to all the N'Sync songs. The rumor going into the retreat was that we had to sleep outside for one night. That partnered with the rumor that the Boone area was going to receive its first snow left many of us wondering what we got ourselves into. We pull into the camp and upon arrival we met with one of the workers of the camp. She informed us that we were staying in Adirondacks and that our next step was to carry our mattresses up the hills to the cabin. Now picture this if you will, 50 plus people carrying mattresses on their heads or any other way feasible up the mountain into the woods to the adventure that awaits. This, my friends, was our humble home for the night. I, being a bit dramatic, text my friends saying they may not hear from me again because I might freeze to death or get eaten by a bear.

Our Adirondack

At first we thought it wasn't going to be that bad. It had three walls and it seemed to block the wind. However, the wind decided to come from all directions bringing in rain/snow and the 30 degree temps into the cabin. PJ's for the night required two pairs of socks, leggings, sweat pants, a tank top, a sweat shirt with the hood pulled up over my head, and a scarf all while trying to keep any skin from being exposed to the cold. The next day we went over to Elk Knob to plant some trees to help our trips be Carbon Neutral. Oh yeah - in the snow! Because of the elevation there was at least an inch of snow on the ground. Not okay! At least not on October 1st. The cold and the weather could have been a major complaining point for the students, but I think we all realized just how ridiculous it all was and decided to find it comical instead.

Sometimes it's really hard to give up a weekend to go on retreats, and I would be lying if I didn't think on the outset of this weekend that there were a million different things I would rather be doing. However, it was an incredible weekend. I loved getting to meet new students who aren't within Housing. And all of them - way cool! My friend Jess and I often commented during the weekend that we only wished we could be half as cool as all of them. It's so great to see students with a passion and desire to give back and make a difference. For many reason, this will be a retreat I look back on fondly. Thankful to be apart of ASB here at ASU!

I Heart Gameday!

It is finally tailgate season as ASU just had their first home football game of the 2011 season. (We won - woot woot!) Next to Summer and March Madness, tailgate season is my favorite season. 

Since my undergrad did not have tailgating, I still get overwhelmingly excited about hanging out in the middle of Raley parking lot with the other grad students from my program, playing Corn Hole (bean bags to those of us from the Midwest), listening to either "Dirt Road Anthem" or "Black and Yellow" on repeat, chowing down on burgers and hot dogs and ending the day with some great Mountaineer football! 

Plus, how can you not love game day when you get beautiful fall days and a stadium that has a view of the Blue Ridge Moutains in the background! 

So for most of the remaining Saturdays this fall you will find me in the "back of a jacked up tailgate" loving life and cheering on App State!